Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I had a dream last night.  I dream a lot, but I don’t usually remember them, and the dreams aren’t significant.  So I don’t mention them here.  There are a lot of things that go on in my life that don’t belong in this diary, so I don’t mention them.  Maybe it’s just too much detail.  Do you really want to know what my body wash smells like?  Okay, bad example.  I’m sure some of you do, you silly billies.  But you know what I mean.

I don’t know much about dreams, but I know that sometimes they’re not meant to be taken literally, and I know this one is not literal.  In fact, I don’t have any idea what it means.

I dreamt I was in a huge field.  It stretched as far as the eye could see.  It was an incredibly beautiful day, the perfect temperature, perfect sun, high, wispy clouds.  But the field was full of red flowers.  Beautiful, deep red flowers, also as far as the eye could see.  I even danced a little in the flowers.

I heard wailing in the distance.  It was a jarring, awful sound.  I went towards it, with a dread in my heart, and there was a funeral.  Everyone was dressed in back, like in the movies and there was a grave with a coffin next to it.  Everyone was wailing.  I looked in the coffin, and Jack was laying there.  My heart leapt into my throat.  It was terrible.  I collapsed by the side of the coffin, weeping uncontrollably.

And I felt a touch.  I looked up, and it was Jack.  I was so confused.  I looked in the coffin, and he was laying there, too.  I jumped up and hugged him.  “Oh Jack I thought you were dead and you are and I don’t know what to do and don’t leave me but you already did…”  I was babbling uncontrollably.  He just held me for a little while.  I stepped away and he was glowing.  He was beautiful.

“Lycoris Radiata”, he said, his voice melodic.  I don’t usually remember words from dreams, but these are seared into my head now.  “It will be okay.”  He touched my head, and I gasped.  Even though his lifeless body was next to me, he was standing in front of me.  I was at peace.  Then I woke up.

I looked up those words.  It’s the red spider lily.  It’s a red flower that has great significance in Asian cultures, like Korean and Japanese.  It means death, but also resurrection.  They say that if you meet someone you’ll never see again, that they will bloom along your path.  But they also mean resurrection – they’re said to guide you along to the next life.  It’s macabre, but also hopeful.

And I named myself Lily.  Why did I do that?  Does it have something to do with a spider lily?

Today we’re going to Universal.  It’s another park here in Orlando.  I was thinking about Jack and me all night.  We’re going to have to leave each other.  I am soooo dreading that.  I am going to have to lean on Dave and Sabby and Liz and Beth very hard next week.  I can already feel it, the tears lurking in the background, the pending breaking of my heart, and it’s awful.  But Sabby will be my rock.  She promised.  And everything will be alright.

It’s time to go get breakfast.  Maybe we can’t be together, at least for now.  But I intend on sharing every kiss I possibly can between now and the time we have to leave each other.  I am not going to regret that.  I will never regret that.

I have to run and eat breakfast.  I will write again tonight.

Love you all!!!  ❤️

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