Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!
Sad Lily today.
I loved going to Ohio, and I loved spending time with Jack. I loved that time we spent on the shores of Lake Erie, i love that he took me to all those chocolate places, I just.. I just loved spending time with him and his family. And I miss Grace too. She’s just a little girl who wormed her way into my heart and gripped on tight with her tiny fingers. I love how she’d bounce off the wall if you gave her chocolate, or conked out like a light in the car on the way back from Sandusky, or giggled when you’d play dolls with her. I love Beth and Crystal and Liz, but it’s not the same kind of thing. I think I want a kid someday. I want several kids. I want little ones that bounce all over the place and play with dolls (or sticks and stones) and I want to see them run to Jack when he comes home from work and… and… sigh.
I miss them.
I wish everyone was all in the same place. One big happy family. But that’s not how it works. And now with fuel prices increasing it might be harder to see each other. I don’t know what to do!!!
I knew long distance would be difficult. But I don’t think I really understood how it would be difficult. It’s not so hard being without him – but it’s hard being with him. I just.. hate leaving.
Oh well. At least Beth and I are back to brushing each others’ hair. Though… though last night there were a few tears too.
I am sooo glad I set boundaries with Jack. I… I don’t know how I would feel if we crossed them.