Hi! It’s me! Lily!

We all went to the waterpark!!!!  The BIG indoor one!  The one Grace wanted to go to!!!

And it was so much fun!!!

Grace couldn’t ride in any of the adult rides, but she liked floating in the river, and there were some kiddie rides for her.  But Liz, Jack, and I just went nuts!  We went on ALL the rides!  Waterslide!  On it!  Tube racer ride?  On it!!!  Rocket catapult ride?  Well… there isn’t one.  But it’d be fun, right?

And it rained a little bit today too!!!  But we didn’t see much of it, we were too busy splashing and zooming!!!

When we got home, we took Lily and Marie to the dog park and let them play.  They had a blast!!!  Running around, chasing each other, catching the frisbee… but it was hot, so we couldn’t spend as much time there as we wanted.  But they had fun!!!

Tomorrow I’ll talk to the owner, and also have a date with Jack!!!  I don’t know what we’re going to do, but I hope there’s some chocolate in there somehow!!!  Yaaaayyyy!!!!

Anyway, I’m tired.  Waterparks are hard work!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And Jack is here!!!  YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!

He showed up this afternoon, and we all went out for dinner!  My family, Jack’s family, and LIz’s family (don’t forget they’re cousins!).  There were a lot of us, so we just went to that barbecue place with the long tables!!!  They don’t get good barbecue in Ohio, and, well, this is Texas, we have good barbecue!!!

I gave Jack the biggest hug and the kind of kiss that made Dave tell me to cool down.  And I don’t regret it!  I missed him!!!  I missed his arms!!!  He had chocolate for me too!!! I love him!!!

And I gave Grace a big hug too!  She doesn’t lisp anymore!  She’s soooo cute!!!  She had a present for me!  It was a drawing she made!!! I love it!!!

And they brought Lily the dog too!!!  Lily and Marie aren’t sure what to make of each other – lots of butt sniffing… but they seem to be getting along!  We’ll take them both to the dog park tomorrow and let them play together!!!

So after the barbecue we all went to our separate places – Jack and his family are staying at a hotel again, and I’m… not with him.  Awww.   I…  miss him.  I want to spend some time alone with him.  But we’re going on a date soon, so there’s that!! But waterpark tomorrow!!!  Yaaaaaaayyyy!!!!! I love the waterpark!!! Did I tell you that???  His family can do that because his father works from home!  Like Dave!  How cool is that!  They can go across the country and not miss work!!!  I want a job like that!!!

Oh, and I enrolled for community college courses today!!!  I enrolled in a few, it’ll be challenging!!!  But with all the classes I enrolled for…  I don’t think I can work.  Well, I could,, but I think Sabby wouldn’t like it.  At all.  So I’ll talk to the owner tomorrow, but I might have to resign.  Aww.  I like it there, but this might be the only way I can do college.  I’ll let you know which classes I take soon!!!

Anyway, I need to sleep.  This will be a fun week!!!  I hope!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And it’s still dry!!! Awww!!!  The weather service keeps saying there might be storms, but there never are!!!

Jack is on his way!!!  He’s in Memphis now and they’re having dinner!!!  Yaaaaay!!!  Lots of driving!!!  Maybe someday soon I’ll take a road trip too!  So far I’ve flown everywhere, but driving seems fun too!!!  Maybe when Ai comes over we’ll take a road trip somewhere!  But the US is so much bigger than Japan…  maybe we’ll go to Dallas!!!  Or a rodeo!  Or San Antonio!!!  Or a rodeo in San Antonio!  Or Fort Worth!!!

Oh, speaking of San Antonio, guess where we’re going next weekend!  The theme park!  Jack and his family and Liz and her family will go with us to San Antonio for the weekend, and then we’ll go back to Round Rock and they’ll go back to Ohio!!!  And we’re going to the waterpark on Sunday!  YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!  And Jack and I will go on a couple of dates next week!!!

I wonder if he has anything fun planned.  I…  don’t, yet.  But I’ll think of something!

I don’t think Jack’s met the girls yet.  He’s met Beth, but he hasn’t met Diana, and I don’t think he’s met Crystal.  So we’ll see if they react to him the same way Beth did.  Back off, girls!  He’s mine!  Hahah!  But I’m only partly kidding.  I’ve only really described him as “hot”, but… he looks like one of those k-pop stars that Liz is always fawning over.  BTS?  I don’t remember, I’ve only really listened to J-pop so far.  But he’s got that… look… to him that all the girls just seem to fall all over themselves for.  He tells me I’m hot too.  I don’t really see it…  but I guess if I do my hair just right and wear just the right makeup and costume I could look like a j-pop idol!  Not k-pop, though.  Those girls are soooooo beautiful.  And they can dance too!!!

But I’m okay with how I look.  Jack likes my appearance, and that’s all that matters.

Okay!  Liz is over tonight – Beth is over at Crystal’s – yaaaaay!!!!  Crystal has a house that Beth can go over to!  Sabby said that they’re spending too much time here.  She likes them and everything, but wants Beth to get out of the house sometimes too.  You know, broaden her horizons.  So Beth and Diana are over at Crystal’s, Liz is here… and as much as I like them all, it’s soooo nice and quiet.  Liz isn’t really an energetic girl.  She’s studious and driven, but not really prone to the kind of craziness that fourteen year olds have.  I love it!  But a little quiet is nice too.

We’re going to brush each other’s hair now and go to sleep, after we take Marie for a walk.  Liz and Marie get along fine now.  I don’t think Liz is going to get her own dog, but Marie will take her the ball and Liz will throw it, and that’s half of it right there!  And… aww.  Marie is on Liz’s lap right now and Liz is scratching her head.  That’s adorable!!!

Okay!!!  Bedtime!!! Nite!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And it didn’t rain again!!!  Bone dry!  I could go out in my swimsuit but all it’d do is make the boys happy!!!  And there’s only one boy I want to make happy!!!

Clouds everywhere!  Rain all around!  But none here!  Lake Travis is panting and saying “water! water!”  Hahaha!!!

Come to think of it, I’ve never been to Lake Travis.  Hmm.

Anyway, another quiet day.  Jack is really looking forward to coming here!  And so is Grace!  Jack wants to see me!  Grace wants to see me and the waterpark!!!  And she wants to meet Marie too!!!  They’re bringing their dog Lily!!!  Maybe Marie and Lily will get along!!!  Though that might get confusing!!!

Speaking of Marie, she and Cat are best friends now!!!  They sleep together all the time, and Marie tries to steal Cat’s food!!!  But Cat steals Marie’s bed, so it all works out.

Jack is leaving tomorrow, they’re driving.  I guess they’ll let Jack drive some too.  Sounds like fun!!!  I don’t know what route they’re going to take, but they’re going to use one of those neat apps where you can track where they are!!!  I’ll watch Jack approaching very very very slowly!!!  The trip takes like 20 hours so they’re stopping over in Memphis and will be here Saturday!!!

So…  nothing else big happening.  Just Jack coming.  Everything else is all ordinary stuff.  So I’m going to go now and walk Marie, while it’s not melting my face off outside!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

 

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It was supposed to maybe sorta rain today!  But it didn’t! Aww!  When it rains I might go outside and dance in it!!!

Except I can’t dance, and wet clothes tend to become transparent.  Aww.  But it might be worth it!!!  Maybe It’ll be a special enough occasion that I’ll put on my swimsuit!!!

Haha!!!

It’s funny.  There are so many things that are going to happen, but haven’t yet, and all I can do is wait.  I did talk to Emiko, though.  She understood, but said she has no interest in meeting him or having anything whatsoever to do with him.  I told her that it’s possible that he could be present at some occasions, but right now, no one has any idea if he even wants anything to do with me.  Or vice versa.  She said fine, but don’t change any plans on her account.  Apparently she had some feelings for him and he was a complete jerk about it, as some men are.

It’s understandable, but I’m not about to put myself in the middle of that.  They’ve both married, they can get over it.

I hope he’s grown up.  If he’s the same guy who used and left Emiko, then I think I’d rather just stick with Emiko.

You know, there are very few people I actually dislike.  There are loads of people I don’t have any strong feeling about, most people I meet I tend to like, but I don’t know about him.  I could dislike him.  I could easily dislike him.  He stole something from me by his lack of responsibility, and it’s a debt he’ll never repay.  You can’t repay that kind of debt with money.  I guess I could eventually forgive it, but…  there aren’t many people in this world who owe that kind of debt to me.

But maybe he’s likable too.  Maybe he grew up, got married, and realized how much of an immature idiot he was.  Oh… ummm…  I don’t usually say stuff like that.  I think I’ll change the subject now.

See?  I’m a happy girl.  I’m sunshine and moonbeams and unicorns and rainbows, all with a skittles center.  But…  I’m not perfect.  I’m human too.  And let’s hope…  he’ doesn’t turn out to be one of the few people I actually can’t stand.

In happier news, Jack comes over this weekend!  Yayy!!!  Oh did I tell you, he can drive now too?  Let’s see.. He can drive, I can drive, Liz is learning (she still has to wait a couple more months), and Beth… well, she’s a bit too young, but Dave does take her out to careen around a parking lot every now and then.  Lotsa drivers or soon to be drivers!  Grace doesn’t drive though.  Hahah!!!

She’d probably drive better than some Texas drivers though.

I need to make sure my black dresses are clean!!!

Anyway, so far it’s a pretty quiet week.  Thankfully.  Excitement every day gets boring.  Weird, huh?

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Finally, a quiet day, of sorts.  A day where I’m not sick, or too busy.  Just a day.  I like just days.

Biggest news is, it’s still hot!  Very hot!  hot hot hot!  It’s been over a hundred degrees for weeks!!!  Some storms are in the forecast but nothing for us!  Aww!!!  Maybe we’ll get some storms in a few days!

So…  ummm…  what else.  Not much!  Jack is looking forward to coming to Austin this weekend!  Yaaaaaayyy!!!!  I’m looking forward to seeing him!!!  And Grace is looking forward to the waterpark!!!  Grace likes the waterpark as much as me, but she’s little so she can’t get on the big rides.  Oh well, she’ll grow, and they do have fun kid’s rides too!!!

I’ve been writing a lot.  So I’m not going to write a lot tonight!  Time to take Marie for a walk and brush Beth’s hair!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I’M A DRIVER NOW!!!

Yes, I got my real license!  Where I can drive without someone in the car with me!  Yaaaaay!!!

But I had to take the day off work to do it.

We went to the DMV, that REALLY HONKING BiG ONE over in Pflugerville, and signed in.  After waiting about an hour for my number to get called, I had to take a written test, then they took me out to drive on a course.  It was stressful!  Everything I did, she was writing notes on her notepad!  But we got back, I passed a vision test, and…  I have a shiny new license now!!!

Yaaaayyy!!!

First order of business was to scoop up Beth and take her to the ACC testing center in Cedar Park to take the TSI test.  I passed, but barely.  She did much better.  They put us into a very quiet room, and I was surprised they didn’t tell us to strip and do a search, they were that strict about it.  But it’s okay!  It’s done!  Then I took Beth to the mall and we had some junk food to celebrate.  The mall is very close to that campus, so… yay!!!

Beth seemed a bit nervous to be driving with me, but I got us there in one piece, even driving 75mph on the tollway!!!

When we got home, Sabby gave me a big hug, and said I might regret having a license now, because it means she doesn’t have to do all the driving.  Uh-oh.  I’m probably going to have to be a girl-shuttle now, picking up and dropping off girls.  Oh well, that’s the price, hah!  But she’s helping to pay for insurance, so… guess I can’t complain all that much, right?

While I was gone, my birth-father’s wife mailed back.  She told him.  All she said was that he was very surprised, and that he wants to meet me.  He lives in California now, in the LA Area, but it seems that he’s travelling to Texas for business in a few weeks, and he wants to stop by.  I asked Sabby if we could host him for dinner, because, frankly, I don’t want to be alone with him.

She agreed.

So I don’t know exactly when, but… I’m meeting my birth father.

And I’d be lying if I said I was looking forward to it.

Now, I need to figure out how to tell Emiko.  I think it will be alright.  He’s not a part of her life, and I don’t ever expect him to be.  But…  I have his genes.  That counts for something, anyway.  Time will tell just how much.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It was a quiet day, finally.  Beth and I studied a little more for the TSI – I think I’m finally getting the hang of factoring.  Seems like there should be an easier way, but maybe it’s like Japanese – there are easier ways but not easier for everyone, so they just try what works for everyone, regardless of what actually works the best.  But I think I’ll pass.  I hope I’ll pass.  I haven’t had to do a real test in a long time, but I’ll have to get used to it, I guess, the tests are coming fast and hard now.

I emailed my birth father’s wife.  I told her that while I have reservations, I’m willing to talk to him, but asked her why it was her who messaged me and not him?  It felt like he didn’t want to and she was forcing the issue.  She replied back with a simple answer – he doesn’t know yet.  She found his name and put the pieces together – he was in New Orleans at the same time Emiko was, etc.  So she’s not 100% sure, but it could be him, and she wanted to discuss it with me before she opened that can of worms with him.  So I don’t even know if he wants to talk to me.  I responded back and said as much.  She just replied with two words.  “He better.”

It’s not so much that she’s on my side, as if there were sides to take anyway, but it’s more that she doesn’t seem like she wants to let him get away with shirking whatever responsibility he has.  I won’t ask for money.  Honestly, I don’t need it, and that ship has sailed a long time ago.  And any money should have been paid to the people who raised me, and I don’t even know who they are.  I won’t call him “daddy” and glomp onto him like some needy girl.  That ship’s sailed too and Dave’s all the daddy I need right now.  But…  I guess it’s as much for him as it is for me.  I want to know, and he needs to know.  He wasn’t responsible.  Just because he didn’t know how irresponsible he was doesn’t mean he was responsible.  He needs to face that irresponsibility.  If he’s even the type of person who can.

If he had known, would he have taken responsibility?  Would he have run?  Or… would he have pressured Emiko to do something… irresponsible herself?  I need to know.  That’s why I’m agreeing to meet him.  Even though I don’t, in my heart of hearts, want to.

Maybe he’ll surprise me.  I hope he does.  I fear he won’t.

But the funny thing is:  I’ve missed out on almost as much of my life as he has.  Isn’t that awful?

Anyway, I’m not going to stress about it.  I’ll stress about it when the time draws closer.  Right now I have a test to study for.

Love you all!!! ❤

HI! It’s me! Lily!

And today was Lily Day!!!  Yay!!!

But they did it a little differently this year.  Last year they said I could do anything I wanted, but Sabby didn’t think that made a whole lot of sense this year, and considering Yuriko Day and my birthday coming up, I kind of agreed.  I want to be wanted, not so much spoiled, y’know?  So instead, this morning, they took us all into a very crowded living room (my family, all the girls who stayed over, Liz’s parents, and even Emiko and her family and ojiisan and obaasan and Ai and Jack and Grace and everyone else on zoom).  And all Dave and Sabby did was say that it was one year since the last Lily day, that they didn’t at all regret adopting me, and that they were very proud of me.  And they started a new ceremony – the shoving in of the chocolate.  I had to open my mouth and they fed me a piece of chocolate, with all the ceremony of being knighted by the Queen.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry hysterically.  I just settled for blubbering a little and hugging everyone in the room.

And then we went for chocolate pancakes.  Well, My family and all the girls did.  Everyone else, well, that would have really taxed the pancake place, I think!  Allison’s mother came to pick her up, though.  Sadly she can’t really eat pancakes.  But I think she’ll get a grilled cheese sandwich later!

I talked to Sabby about my birth father.  She said of course she’d support whatever I decided, and I wasn’t wrong to kind of resent him, but he was a young man at the time, and he didn’t have a clue about me.  So, maybe I should at least hear him out.  Maybe I should.  But…  I still… I don’t know.  I don’t like the idea of not meaning anything more to someone than a faint echo of a good time seventeen years ago.  I mean, I guess I can understand a little how he feels – finding out seventeen years later you have a daughter you never even knew about has to be…  a bit of a shock.

Maybe he would have done the right thing if he’d known.  I guess there’s only one way to find out.

So this afternoon Beth and I studied for the TSI, after all the girls made their way home.  I missed them!!!  It’s so much fun playing games and chatting about boys (such as it is, we’re careful when Allison’s around) and the piles are very warm and smell like girl (and sometimes things other than girl when someone’s had tacos… eww).  But life goes on.

I’m sooo happy to have all the friends and family that I do, though, and I just keep finding more friends and family, and my life is sooo different than it was even a year ago!  I went to Japan, and found out who I was, and met family I didn’t know about, and there’s still more to discover!!!  So many people I love!!!  Life is hard sometimes but as long as I have my family and friends, it’ll be fine!!!  Lily day isn’t just about me.  It’s about everyone who loves me, and everyone I love.  I hope every year has a Lily Day.

And to the random person who mailed me – Liz isn’t pregnant.  😐 She just had the same thing I did.  I told her that and she cracked up so hard.  She says, and I quote:  “There’s a certain thing you have to do in order to get pregnant and I dumped the last guy who tried!”  So hah.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Sabby was telling me about these things there used to be called “Soap Operas”.  They were… television programs that would be run during the day when housewives were home (back when that was more of a thing) and they were called that because they used to run soap commercials.  I don’t know if they really exist anymore, I guess they do, but I have no idea where I’d find them.  I said that, and Sabby told me I was making her feel old.  Well, she is!!!

But just to young people like me, I guess.  To Ojiisan and Obaasan, she’d be young.

Anyway, she was telling me how they’d kind of careen from one crisis to another, with people marrying, divorcing, being born, dying, etc., sometimes with no concern given to plot holes, and sometimes they’d have something at the end she called a “cliffhanger”, where they’d have some plot point that would come up, and then it’d end on an organ chord.

My life is a soap opera.

So today I got an email.  See, I made a mistake.  A huge mistake.  I actually wrote the name of my birth father on my blog.  Well, his wife was doing a google search, and found it.  And she thinks her husband is my birth father.  She wrote me an email and told me that, and told me about him.  Then she asked me if I wanted further information or to meet him.

I…  don’t know if I do.

She did say that he is a marketing director at a company somewhere.  I guess that would make sense.  It was the business folks that partied hard in college, right?  I guess he’s done alright for himself, not rich but not poor either, kind of like Dave.  He married right out of college and his daughter is about Beth’s age, give or take.  She seems nice, and he didn’t know, but…  but I was just a good time to him, you know?  At least Emiko had to carry me to term and birth me.  She knew me.  All my birth father knew was that Emiko, well…  let him do what he wanted to her.

Do I want to get to know him?  I don’t know.  I don’t think so.  But it might still be good to know about his medical history, etc.  I’m…  torn.  And a little sad.  Of all the people in my life, he’s one of the most impactful, and he never even knew I existed.  Maybe it’s not fair to him, maybe none of it was, but it’s not fair to me either!!!

Anyway, the girls are over, and they’re really loving my stories about Japan.  They really love the bunnies!  They want to go to ookunoshima now!  Maybe someday we can all go, but…  maybe even for me it was a once in a lifetime thing.  I hope not, but…  but it might be.  That makes me sad.  I loved it there.  In fact, all of this makes me sad.  But tonight’s not a night for sadness.  But sometimes sadness doesn’t care what night it is.  I wish my birth father’s wife hadn’t mailed me.  But she did, and now I have to deal with it.

All the girls do love their presents, though.  Allison’s wearing her bunny ears!!!  Now we’re going to make the first pile in three weeks!!!

Love you all!!! ❤