Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

i made another video!!!

Sabby bought me a new dress!  It’s so pretty!  It’s a little short, but I don’t mind that too much.  Just gotta be careful where I wear it.  Grocery store?  Check.  Church?  Ehhhh…. maybe.  Upside down tilt-a-whirl at the theme park?  NOT.

Not unless I want people seeing my girly bits.

So, erm, there’s a war going on. I mentioned it earlier.  It seems to have gotten worse.  Everyone’s on edge.  But I’m not going to talk about it here.  Not anymore.  This is a place for happy happy sunshine rainbows skittles moonbeams fun!!!  Well, most of the time.  Sometimes it does get a bit serious.  But not that kind of serious!!!  I’m a sixteen year old girl!  I’ll leave all the stupid to the adults!!!

And… they’re like, really really good at being stupid, aren’t they??

Sigh.

You know, I haven’t bought Sabby a milkshake in a while!  I guess that’s a good thing because I usually buy her a milkshake when she’s mad at me, but she hasn’t been mad at me in a while.  No Claire Huxtable here!!!  I guess that’s a good thing?  But I should buy her a mikshake.  Just to tell her I love her.  You know I never asked Dave what he actually likes.  I should do that.  Maybe he likes chocolate like me!  But somehow, I think there’s something he likes better.  I just never asked.  I’ll do that now.

Please continue to hold, and your call will be answered… ring ring!!!

He likes strawberry!!  And he looked at me funny for running down the stairs, asking him the question, and then running back up the stairs again!!!

Why didn’t I ask before!!! And no wonder Sabby smells like strawberries sometimes!!!

I hear Allison is feeling better!  Yaaaaay Allison!! Oh, I don’t think I mentioned she was sick.  Well, she was.  I made her a super duper special video just for her eyes telling her to get better!!!  I think she liked it!!!

YouTube always asks me if my videos are made for kids.  Usually I say no.  Because they’re not!  I mean, I try to keep them kid friendly, but trust me, kiddoes, read my diary again when you’re eighteen!!!  But the video I made for Allison is specifically made for a kid, so I had to check the box!! Booo!!!

Bedtime!!!

Love you all!!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Well, maybe not a star..  maybe just a dwarf planet.

I made a video!!!

I’m not good at making videos yet, but I made one!!!  I’m wearing one of my favorite dresses too!!!

That’s what I spent tonight doing, after I got home from work.  It’s fun!  And a little stressful.  I’m a little embarrassed!!!

But I think I’m cute!! Right?  Right?  Hello!!!

I’m a cute silly billy.

Anyway, I don’t have much to talk about tonight – that’s a lot, right?  I think I’ll make more videos.  Maybe I’ll do games!  Or streaming!  Or vlogs!  Or you can watch me eat chocolate!  Or not!!!

Ever since I started this diary, I wanted to make videos!  Diaries are fun, but boring sometimes!  Right?

You can hear me breathe though.  I need to fix that!!!  It’s like watching me eat chocolate – I’m sure some of you like that, but noooo!!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

No, the Emiko doesn’t strike back, but I couldn’t resist a Star Wars themed thingy!  I watched Star Wars with the family a long time ago, before I was adopted, in a galaxy far, far away.  I didn’t really understand it, but it was fun!  I still really don’t understand sci-fi, though I do like it.  I’ve never actually seen Star Trek, can you believe it?  I’ve heard a lot about it, and Kirk and Picard were kind of cute in their own way, but I’ve never actually seen it!  I should watch it!

Kirk seems like the kind of guy who’d push you up against a wall, and…  well…  you know.  Picard seems like the kind of guy who would offer you a cup of tea, talk about Shakespeare, and then light a candle and put on classical music and… well… you know.  Ends up the same in the end, I guess.  With well… you know,  eating cookies.  😁  I bet Picard would make a mean cookie.  And you know I like chocolate!!!

What did you think I was going to say?  You silly billies!  (were you right?  I’ll never tell.  HAHAHHAHHA)

I guess I’m in a mood.

Emiko and her family came over today, from Houston.  Her husband is still a little reserved, but he wasn’t as standoffish as usual, and Sabby held up to her end of the deal and had cookies.  Aika and Mika came over too, and David is still just as besotted.  They…  weren’t.  But at least he’s learned his lesson from the Allison debacle and was nice to them, so they’re at least getting along.  After dinner the four of them – Beth, David, Aika, and Mika went into the dining room and played games.  I would have joined them but I was the reason Emiko came over, so we, the adults (and near adults) sat and chatted for a while.

I don’t understand Emiko, I really don’t.  She’s an American citizen now, having married an American citizen, but she still has that Japanese sensibility about her that’s difficult for us to understand.  She’s a little hard on her kids, always wanting them to succeed, but she seems to care deeply about them as well.  What would it have been like if she’d kept me?  Would I resent her?  Or would I love her?  I don’t know.  I I guess it’s a moot point, but I do think about how things could have been… how they should have been.

She said that she’s planning on going to Japan in the summer for two weeks and wants me to come along.  I said I should have my passport by then.  She seems a little hurt that my legal name is Lily and not Yuriko, but that’s just what happens when you get adopted, especially not knowing your previous name.  She doesn’t say anything, but it’s on her face.

If she wanted me to keep the name she gave me, she could have kept me.

I’m not bitter.  I’m really not.  I said I forgave her, and I do.  I understand that she did the best she could under difficult circumstances.  Do the mothers in Ukraine have to make difficult choices right now?  I guess it’s kind of the same thing, for different reasons.  And at least she birthed me.  But even if you forgive someone, you still have to live with the things they did.  Just like she also has to live with the things she did.

But I still wonder sometimes.  Would I have my memory if she’d kept me?

I don’t know.  It makes me sad to think about.

They left a few minutes ago.  I gave her a hug.  She’s Japanese, so not a big hugger, but she hugged me back.  Hard.  And every time she does, there are tears in her eyes.  I guess I understand that.  I’m not the only one who has to bear the weight of her decisions.

Oh well!  Life goes on!  What do you think?  Kirk or Picard?  Who makes the best cookies???

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I made a video today!  And I even said that!!!

No, I’m not sharing it just yet – some techy stuff to figure out that I don’t understand, but it’s a videoey video!  Umm… that didn’t quite work, did it?  Well, anyway, it’s a video!  And soon I’ll be posting videos!!!

Aren’t you the lucky ones?  You’ll get to see me in all my glory!  Well…  that’s not quite the right way to put it.  Well, you know what I mean, you silly billies!!!

I showed Allison my video!  She said I have allergies!  How’d she know???

So I feel a little better about the war thing right now.  No, I don’t like it, why should I?  But Dave explained that sometimes countries just fight, and sometimes they don’t even need a good reason.  Of course, I don’t know anything about the reasons for this, so maybe they do?  But is there ever a good reason to fight?  I dunno.  I’m just a sixteen year old girl!!  I know nothing!!!

Well, I know how to make videos, doot doot, karen wrangle, and… and… eat chocolate!  I’m good at eating chocolate!!

Liz and her parents came over tonight and we watched a movie!  Sabby wanted to watch something funny, so we watched “Robin Hood, Men in Tights!”  We’re men!  We’re men in tights… TIGHT tights…  la la la la la la laaaa laaaaa HAHAAHAAAHAHA!!!!!!!  Okay it was pretty funny!!!

We’re doing another sleepover!  We’re about to play a game!  Since Crystal isn’t over, maybe we’ll play “Never Have I Ever”….  though I might win that one!!!  hahahaa!!!!!  Emiko and her family are coming over tomorrow!!!  Oh speaking of Emiko we sent the passport application!  I’ll be able to go to Japan someday!!!

Love you all!!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me!  Lily!

I didn’t write last night.

War is something that I’ve only heard about.  There was a big war eighty years ago where a lot of people died.  Then everything was okay, except there were a bunch of little wars, but things have been mostly peaceful.  Except last night, when one country invaded another.  Lots of explosions, and people dying, and…  and…  too much.  Too many people dying.

But even one person dying is too many, don’t you think?

Dave sat us down and told us only one thing.  “Kids,” he said, “You’re going to see a bunch of stuff on the news.  Some people are interested in reporting the news objectively.  Some people are interested in spouting propaganda for one side or another.  And some people just want to make you afraid.”  Then he said something that really made me think.  “If you hadn’t watched the news, would you have even known about all this stuff going on?”

Hmm.  No, I probably wouldn’t have.  Life would go on.  Until it doesn’t, I guess, but that’s another topic.

“Don’t let them make you afraid,” he said.  “They make money off your fear.”

So there’s a war going on.  It’s awful.  But I woke up this morning, I ran, I took a shower, Sabby had us read up on Ukraine and Russia and some of the history there, and we ate lunch.  What I’m trying to say is, life went on, life goes on, and Dave is pretty smart after all, dontcha think?

Maybe eventually it’ll affect me.  Dave doesn’t seem to think it will, but he can’t see the future.  But for right now, life goes on.

Our mood was very somber when we brushed each other’s hair last night.  After I went to bed, I felt someone climb in with me, and I wrapped my arms around her.

“I’m scared,” she said, softly, cuddling into me.

“I’m here,” I said.  “No one’s going to hurt you.”

And Beth fell asleep.

War is an adult thing.  And it’s kids like Beth who have to pick up the pieces.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Silly Billy Lily!!! That’s me!!!

OMG I’m happy tonight!  I don’t know why!  I’m just happy!  I ate food, and ate chocolate, and…  and that’s enough!  Why do I need more to be happy!  Well, I have Sabby and Dave, and Beth, and even David, so that’s a reason too… but…. CHOCOLATE!!! I ate CHOCOLATE!!!

Why do I love chocolate sooo much?  I’m sure you ask yourself, “Self, why does Lily like chocolate soooo much”?  Well I’ll tell you.  Are you sitting down?  Do you have hot chocolate?  Maybe a fire?  The answer is…

It’s CHOCOLATE!  You silly billies!  Why do I need to give you another reason than that?  I mean really.

So did anything special happen today?  Not really!  I ran!  I ate breakfast!  I showered!  I did school!  I ate lunch!  I did more school!  Then Dave finished his work and we worked on the mower!  He managed to get a fuel pump and we replaced it!  That’s such dirty and smelly work!  But the mower started!

And OMG why didn’t anyone tell me it felt so good when something starts and you fixed it yourself???  It’s like chocolate and Jack and more chocolate all mixed into one and a hot shower too!!!  The mower started and I swear I danced all around the garage singing a song that just had the lyrics “WOO HOO WOO HOO HAHAAHHAAA”. Dave thought I’d lost it!!!  Maybe I did!!!

Maybe I’m a mechanic girl, but I’m still a girl!!!

So now Dave’s going to teach me to sharpen its blades!  Sounds scary!!!

Maybe that’s why I’m happy, actually!!!  But maybe it’s chocolate!!!  I don’t think I want to be a mechanic, it’s dirty and all the grease gets under my nails, but…  but I think I like fixing things!

Jack likes it when I fix things too!  He says it’s hot!  I had Dave get a picture of me elbows deep in the engine and I sent it to Jack, and, well…  he liked it!  I think that’s a safe way to say it.  He really really really liked it.  He asked if next time I can wear short shorts.

…  I guess I brought that on myself.  I don’t even think I have short shorts.  But…  he could have asked for worse.  I think I’ll find some.  If y’all are lucky I’ll put it on Patreon too!!!  But that’s all you’re getting so be happy with that!

And enough about that.

Speaking of Patreon I need to show it some love!  This weekend I’ll put some fun stuff up there!!!

I guess it’s time to brush Beth-hair, and get Lily-hair brushed!  She does such a good job now!!!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

And it was a day off!!!

OMG I love days off!!!

So I did my run this morning, and then showered and had breakfast, and then… nothing!  Blissful nothing!  I just lounged around and…  did nothing!  And it was wonderful!

But it didn’t last.  Sabby and Dave packed us into the car and we took a drive!  We went to Fredericksburg!  It’s a neat little town!  There was stuff to see and do!  We walked up and down the main street, and ate lunch, and ice cream, and it was fun!  And there were museums too!  I just knew Dave and Sabby would sneak school in.  But I didn’t mind!  We went to the Museum of the Pacific War, and the Pioneer Museum!  We ate lunch and had ice cream!  Then after a few hours we drove home!  It’s about a one and a half hour drive!

It was fun!  We don’t get to do things like that often!  There was even more to see, maybe we’ll go back!  Apparently where I live there were lots of German people a long time ago!

Wunderbar!!!

And that’s all the German I know.

Die Lily!  hahaha!!! That’s my name!  Not die as in die, die as in the German female article!  Die Lily!!!  Oh, nevermind.

After we got home, Dave grilled!  Oh, I love it soooo much when Dave grills!!!  It was a great way to spend a holiday!!!  Liz came over too and she ate Dave’s Famous Grilled Meat with us!  I asked her if her parents minded her spending so much time with us.  She said that they’re just glad she has friends!  And, after all, I might be family someday…

I blushed!!!

But I smiled too.

Now it’s time to sleep! 

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Lily Lily Lily Lily Lily Lily luhluihluhluhliuhluhLILY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m a LILY!!!!!!!!!

But you knew that!!!

I’m LILY!!!!!

YURIKO.. errr… LILY!!!

I like being Lily!  It’s fun being Lily!  I get to wear dresses and work and… and be Liz’s best friend… and…  ummm…  do stuff?  Yeah!  I get to do stuff!!!

I should play Lily says!  It’s like Simon says but it’s Lily says!  Lily says stand on one foot!  Lily says twirl around!  Put your foot down!!! I didn’t say Lily says!!!!  You lose!!!

But I always win because I’m Lily!!!

Okay okay okay.

So I got home from work today and Dave was doing some pressure washing.  He’s a bit clumsy but seemed to be doing well.  I love pressure washing!!! The air smells like water, and something that was dirty becomes clean!!!  He pressure washed the driveway and the sidewalks and the side of the house…  he didn’t try to pressure wash the grass!  This time!  Hahaha!!!!!

Remember, I said he has pressure washing accidents!  He does!!!

So this afternoon he opened up the lab.  He said he was going to be in the garage anyway so David was free to tinker if he wanted.  David ran in and started tinkering.  Dave and I dinked around with the lawn mower.  He showed me that it has a spark!  I got sparked!  OWIE!!!  That HURT!!!

But he then asked me what it means if it has a spark but won’t start.  I said…  fuel?

He agreed.  So we tested the fuel pump.

BAD!  BAD FUEL PUMP!!!

So we’re going to replace it!

Is that all that’s wrong with it?

So then Sabby called us in to dinner.  Crystal had left before I got home (this morning she told me I was the best big sister ever and gave me a huge hug, it was sooo sweet) and we ate.  I guess it’s a Sunday night.  Right?

Oh oh oh!  Tomorrow’s a holiday!  We get the day off!  And I don’t have to work!!!  We’ll do something fun!!! I don’t know what yet.

Sabby’s going to invite Emiko and family over next weekend.  I know David will like meeting Mika and Aika again!  I’m…  kiiiiinda looking forward to it?  I don’t know.  Her family is nice, but…  but…  is it mine?  It should be.  Is that the problem?

Bedtime, and Beth’s hair needs a brush!

Love you alll!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Today I worked!  Or could you tell from the title???

The owner asked me again if I could work more hours, but I explained that the weekend was the only time I could work, because Dave and Sabby are teaching me stuff in the evenings.  And I wasn’t even lying!  It’s true!  He seemed disappointed but I told him this summer he can have as many hours as he wants, as long as I get to go on whatever trips I need to go on.  He thinks I’m a good worker!  But it’s not hard to be a good worker.  Dave was right!  He told me “Half the battle is showing up”, and you’d be surprised how many employees don’t even bother to show up!  I show up!!!

We all went to the park this afternoon!  We had a picnic!  Dave grilled this morning, and we got all the fixins, and we found a spot at the park and ate our food!  It was my family and Liz’s family and Crystal’s family too!!!  It was fun!!! Afterwards we played games!  We played frisbee and tag and there were even enough people for football!  Both kinds!!!  We got home and now everyone’s tired!  Even Dave!  Even me!!!

We’re about to make a girl-pile again and Crystal can barely keep her eyes open!  It’s soo cute!!!

Love you all!!!  ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Liz and Crystal are here!  We’re about to have another sleepover!  We seem to do that every weekend now, but it’s fun!!!  I have my best friend and Beth has her best friend and we have a bestie mashup!!!

It wasn’t perfect, today.  I mean, school was school, but when Dave got back from the job site, Crystal and her parents showed up soon after!  Beth and Crystal immediately went up to her room to do Beth and Crystal stuff (talk about boys?  I dunno) and we were all sitting down in the living room while Sabby made dinner.  I wanted to ask them about Crystal, but I didn’t know how.  And then Liz and her parents came over too, and the opportunity was lost.

Sabby made something delicious for dinner again.  I couldn’t actually quite identify it, it was some kind of asian fusion dish.  She called it “Beef Ramenoff”.  Sabby is so weird when she gets creative.  It was still delicious, though.

Beth made popcorn and we ate popcorn and snacks and drank soda, and watched a movie.  We let Crystal choose the movie, and she chose “Lolita”.  Everyone looked at her funny, and her parents said that wasn’t an appropriate movie for a girl her age.  She just sighed.  “Oh, like anything that’s happened to me has been appropriate?,” she snarked, and then folded her arms defiantly.

We didn’t watch “Lolita”.  We watched “The Last Mimzy”.

Crystal really seems to resent life.  I’d say I don’t know why, but I know exactly why.  But what’s to be done?

After, though, Liz’s and Crystal’s parents went home (oh did I mention they got a car?  It’s a secondhand one, but it seems to run well) and we all went up to my room.  Crystal was kind of being snippy, but we all had an unspoken agreement to make it a Crystal night.  I brushed her hair, Liz did her nails, and Beth chatted with her.  A few minutes later, Crystal started to relax, and I could see a tear forming in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?,” I said, as she trembled.

“Why are you all so nice to me?”, she asked, her voice quivering.

I frowned.  “Because you’re Crystal, and we love you.”

“But why?”

“Because you’re Crystal!,” I said, and Liz and Beth agreed.  Beth wrapped her arms around and hugged her.  “Why do we need a better reason than that?”

“But I…”

“You nothing!”, I said forcefully.  “Bad stuff happened to you.  I’m so sorry for that!  If I could take it away, I would!  But I can’t, and it’s not your fault!”  I wiped the tear from her eye.  “Just let us love you,” I said quietly, and went back to brushing her hair.  A couple more sobs escaped her, then her head started lolling as she started to truly relax.

“I don’t deserve you,” she said quietly.

“No, but we don’t deserve you either,” Liz said.  “No one deserves anything good, but we can be thankful for it.  Now sit still, I’m trying to apply a clearcoat here and you’re moving too much.”

After Crystal started to relax, we tried to think of a game to play, but we just settled for chatting about everything and nothing.  And that’s the best thing of all.

I’m writing this before we turn in, and this time the girl-pile has four!  Yay!!!

Love you all!!! ❤️