Hi! It’s me! Lily!
I think some days are boring, and yesterday was one of those days. Well, it started out that way, anyway. I went grocery shopping with Sabby. No one else likes to go with her, but I think it’s fun. All the different foods and people! We go to a supermarket chain that’s really popular in my state, so there are a lot of people going this way and that throwing stuff in their carts and playing bumper cars! Some people wear masks, some don’t, no one really cares, and I guess that’s a good thing.
I’ve told you that I love chocolate but I don’t think I’ve ever told you what my favorite food is. That’s because I really don’t know myself! I mean, I know what I like. I like hamburgers and hot dogs and brisket and sausage and lasagna and… and… I like food! I have friends who are vegetarians and vegans and good for them, but I like meat too much. Some friends ask me how I can eat things that have feelings, and I say “I want my food to have a good life, and a good death, and to live on in my tummy”. They don’t really like that. Don’t care. Bring me meat, my pretties!! Muahahaah!
I said before that I don’t really get into political stuff, and I don’t. I don’t even really keep up with it. I know some things are bad, and some things are okay, and some are good, but I have my own problems. So when someone tries to tell me what’s important I ask them if they have my memory. Of course, they always look at me funny and say “what?” After making sure they don’t have my memories (of course they don’t) I tell them to help me find my memory and we’ll talk.
They hate that. They really do. But that’s what’s important to me.
So we went to the store and I ran into a Karen! An actual Karen! I’ve heard about them but never actually ran into one up close. She was just like everyone said! The “I want to speak with your manager” haircut, the sunglasses, the flip flops, the clothes two sizes too small, everything! So Sabby and I were just minding our own business, walking through the bread aisle, when I heard “excuse me!”
Of course, I thought I was in the way, so I moved to the side. “Excuse me!”, I said, and I got roughly tapped on the shoulder. I turned around, and there she was, pointing at an empty spot on the shelves. “Do you have any of these in the back?”
I was confused. “Why would I have those in the back?”
“You lazy girl! Go find me what I asked for!”
I just looked at Sabby. Sabby was not looking happy. “Is there something I can help you with?,” she asked, in that tone of voice that I’ve come to know means that your next answer had better be a good one.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” – and then she said a word that I’ve only ever heard on Blazing Saddles and was told never to use. And I was about to find out why.
“Come here, Lily,” she said, and I went to go over to her, but “Karen” grabbed my arm, hard. “You were helping me. Now go do what I said!”. It hurt.
Sabby had, apparently had enough. Sabby just walked over, and calmly kicked her right between her spray-tanned legs. She crumbled to the ground and screamed “Assault!”, but let go of me in the process. I looked at Sabby, confused and a little scared. She had her phone out. A few seconds later, I realized she was calling the police. A manager came running, but Sabby held up a hand. I piped up, “I think she’s calling the police.” the manager nodded. Not much more he could do except wait for them to arrive and keep everyone separated.
The manager asked me what happened, and I told him, while Sabby finished up on the phone. He asked us all to come to the office. Sabby said “No. I will not be alone with her, and if you know what’s good, you’ll keep her away from me.” Karen was still squealing like a stuck pig, it was kind of amazing, actually, to think such a sound could come out of a human.
A few minutes later, the police arrived. Karen had recovered a bit, and of course, had a sob story to tell. Big mean teenage girl assaulted her, then the (insert slur I hinted to above) had the nerve to kick her, and we should both be arrested! Of course, there was a CCTV, and once the police saw the video, they arrested her and dragged her out of the store through the bread aisle, screaming all the way. They asked Sabby if she wanted to press charges, and she said “hell yeah!”. I didn’t really know what that means, even with all the stories, but Sabby explained it. Hell yeah! Karen deserves it!
What an adventure! I should put that on Reddit. But honestly I don’t like Reddit. It’s annoying.
The manager offered us a gift card, but Sabby said no. She “got her own back”, as they say, and she was happy enough with how it turned out. The manager did ask her politely not to kick any more people between the legs, and Sabby agreed to never do it without a good reason. Apparently, assaulting me qualified as a good reason. The manager knew that was the best he was going to get, and left us to finish our shopping. Then we got home, put our shopping away, and went over the police station to file an official complaint.
I learned two things. The first thing I learned is that you can kick a woman between the legs and it hurts. I don’t know if as bad as with a man, but I’m certainly remembering that.
And the second thing I learned is that Sabby will hurt people to protect me.
I don’t like violence, but it still makes me feel all fuzzy inside. She really means it when she says she loves me! After all, don’t you protect the ones you love?
So when we got home, we told Dave all about it. Dave just sat there, listening to everything Sabby said. Then, after she had told our story, he said simply, “I’m glad it was you, and not me. I might not have been so nice.”
I looked at him in shock. He’s such a kind, gentle, silly man! He’d never hurt a fly! But what he said next made me feel twice as fuzzy.
“You’re our daughter now, Lily. No one’s going to hurt you while we’re around. No one.”
I couldn’t help it. I ran over to him and threw my arms around him. This time I didn’t cry, but I really couldn’t help it! He hugged me back. Sabby just sat there smirking. “Don’t I get a hug? I might think you’re trying to take him away from me.”
I blushed, but she was smiling when she said it. “Oh, you read that.”
She nodded.
“I really was joking,” I said. I let Dave go. The blush had left the confines of my face and was currently saying hello to my chest.
“Your silly Billy?”
I have never eeped before. But I swear I eeped. I actually, honest to God, eeped. Sabby had decided I’d had enough torment and scooped me up in her arms. “It’s alright,” she said. “I know you were joking.”
We let each other go.
“But if you’re ever serious, remember today.” I don’t think she was entirely joking. But I nodded anyway. Message received. I am a cute sixteen year old girl. I get it.
“Sabby -“
She smirked. “You’re a silly Billy, Lily.”
Dave just looked at her, then me, then back at her.
“What are you talking about?”
Sabby laughed. “I’ll spare Lily any more embarrassment. What do you want for dinner tonight? Spaghetti? Or spaghetti?”
Dave sighed. He knew when the battle was lost.
“How about spaghetti?”
She patted his knee. “That’s a wonderful idea! I’ll go get it started. I’ll even make that meat sauce you love so much.”
David came down the stairs. “And parmesan?”
“Lots of parmesan,” she said.
Dinner was, of course, delicious. She even made garlic bread. I love garlic bread!
After dinner, I took Sabby aside.
“I really was joking, Sabby.”
“I know, Lily.”
“Please… Sabby…” I sniffled. “You’ve been so nice and kind and wonderful to me and I don’t want anything to get in the way of us…”
She hugged me fiercely. “Lily, it’s going to take a lot more than a little joking and teasing to make me think any less of you. I love you, Lily, like my own daughter. Please don’t worry.”
I couldn’t help it. I started to cry again.
“I really was just teasing and I didn’t mean it and of course I wouldn’t and… Oh Sabby I would never…”
She patted my back. “I know. I know you wouldn’t.”
“I don’t want to lose you Sabby!!!” I wailed.
“Is that something you’re worried about?”
I hesitated, and then nodded.
“Lily, you’re a part of this family, always and forever. Family doesn’t abandon each other. I will not abandon you, Lily.”
I sniffled. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
I let go.
“Why are you so kind to me, Sabby?,” I sniffled.
She seemed lost in thought. “Because you’re family.”
“But…”
“No,” she said. “You’re family. You’ll always be family. Always and forever.”
“Why?”
“Because we want you to be a part of our family and you need a family. Do I really need a better reason than that?”
I shook my head.
“Good,” she said. “I teased you a bit too much. I didn’t know you felt insecure. I’m sorry for that.”
I nodded. “It’s okay.”
She smiled and kissed my forehead. “I love you, Lily.”
I smiled and lowered my head, accepting the kiss. Then I pretty much glomped her. “I love you too, Sabby,” I said, with more feeling than I thought I could ever put in my voice. I let her go.
“Let’s go get some dessert,” she said.
“We already had some -“
She shushed me. “We’re women, there’s chocolate in the kitchen, are you seriously going to argue with me about this?”
“No ma’am,” I said, giggling. And we both had a second helping of dessert. It was wonderful.
I slept pretty well last night.
Love you all!!! ❤️
